Truth Be Told
by granthamfan
Summary: With Valentine's Day just around the corner, and Robert away fighting in the Second Boer War, Cora struggles to keep her spirits up. Part of the Be My (Cobert) Valentine Exchange. Word: truth
1. Chapter 1

February 7, 1901

_ Cora sighed contentedly as Robert's warm hand caressed over her side and hip. His lips made contact with the sensitive skin just below her ear and worked their way down her neck and onto her shoulder. She hummed in delight, relishing the feeling of his lips upon her skin. Smiling, she rolled over to drape her arm across his waist…_

And was met with an empty space. It had all been a dream. Heartbroken, she clutched his pillow to her chest and buried her face in it. Every night before going to bed she dabbed a bit of Robert's cologne onto his pillow, hoping that it would make it seem as if he were there with her. It didn't. She felt his absence more acutely with each passing day. The Second Boer War had stretched on for almost two years, and it had been months since her husband was last home on leave. She did her best to make it through the day. She had three young daughters to care for and a household to run. Most of the time, the day-to-day routines were enough to distract her from the plaguing emptiness that filled her.

But at night, as she lay alone in their bed, thoughts of Robert filled her brain. She missed their late night talks, their intimate encounters, the nights when she was unable to sleep and Robert would read to her. She would often lie awake until the wee hours of the morning as she tried desperately to become accustomed to sleeping alone. But, it was no use. Until Robert came home for good, a part of her was missing; a vital part.

This particular night had been harder than most. At dinner, the girls had talked of how much they missed their Papa, wondering when he might come home. They asked their mother that question every day, and every day her answer was the same. She didn't know. Oh, how she wished that she did. But, she didn't. She knew that the girls missed him terribly, and seeing how his absence affected them made her heart ache even more.

She continued to cling to Robert's pillow, her tears soaking through the fabric of the sham when she heard a soft knock at the door. She looked at the clock on the mantle; it was three o'clock in the morning.

"Come in," she called as she wiped at her eyes, knowing that it had to be one of the girls. Sure enough, the door opened to reveal seven-year-old Edith. Her eyes were red and her face tear-stained from crying.

"Mama," the little girl hiccupped, "may I stay in here with you for a bit?"

"Of course, darling," Cora replied as she opened her arms to her daughter. "What's brought this on? Was it another bad dream?" Each of her girls had been plagued with them since their father had been away at war. Cora herself had had more than her share of them as well.

Edith nodded as she sidled over to the bed and into her mother's embrace, her arms wrapping around Cora and clinging as if for dear life, her head buried in her chest. Cora felt the bodice of her nightgown begin to grow wet as a fresh batch of tears overflowed from Edith's eyes. She wrapped her arms tightly around Edith, drawing her closer as she dropped soft kisses onto her daughter's tousled hair. She rocked her gently from side to side, and eventually felt Edith's relax against her. For a moment, Cora thought that she had finally fallen asleep. As she began to remove Edith's arms from around her, she heard the little girl whisper.

"Mama?"

"Yes, my darling?" Cora answered, softly.

"Do you miss Papa?"

She struggled to speak around the lump that had formed in her throat. "Of course I do, little love. I miss him very much." Cora couldn't stop the tears that began to fall into her daughter's hair. She prayed that Edith wouldn't notice. She would hate to upset her anymore that she was already.

"Me, too," Edith intoned. "Mama?"

"Yes?"

"May I write him a letter tomorrow? To tell him how much I love him?"

Cora's heart swelled at Edith's words. "I think that's a lovely idea, darling. Perhaps Mary can write one as well, and Sybil can draw a picture for him. I'm sure he would love to hear from his darling girls."

Edith smiled at the thought of her Papa reading her letter. "Will you write him a letter, too, Mama?"

Cora smiled. "I will. I think he enjoys getting letters from us as much as we enjoy getting letters from him."

_ "_I hope so," Edith responded with a yawn.

"I think someone is getting sleepy," Cora teased. "It's time for you to get back to your room, little one."

"Can't I stay with you, Mama? Just this once? I'll be on my best behavior, I promise." Robert and Cora did not often allow their daughters to sleep with them. They were becoming young ladies, after all. However, as Cora looked into her daughter's brown eyes, she found herself unable to say 'no' to such an innocent request. More than that, she felt that perhaps having her daughter there would help to sleep a little better.

"Just this once, Edith. Let's not make it a habit, though, hm?"

Edith smiled happily. "I won't, Mama."

Cora drew back the covers to allow Edith to slip underneath them. Edith slid over and wrapped her arm around her mother's neck and placed a kiss to her cheek. "Goodnight, Mama. I love you."

"I love you, too, my darling girl," Cora said, drawing Edith a bit closer.

The two lay in bed quietly until Edith's tiny voice once again broke the silence.

"Mama, can I tell you something?"

"Of course, my dear. What is it?"

"I wish Papa were here."

Cora gave into her own tears once again. "Me, too, my darling," she whispered. "Me, too."


	2. Chapter 2

February 8, 1901

Cora awoke the next morning clinging to the edge of the mattress, finding Edith sprawled across almost the entire bed. She chuckled to herself as she rolled the rest of the way off of the bed, then leaned over to place a kiss to her daughter's cheek before gently shaking her awake.

"Edith, my darling," Cora spoke, softly, "it's time to wake up. Your governess will be looking for you."

Edith groaned and scrunched up her face. "Do I have to, Mama?"

"Yes, you do. Once you're done with your lessons, you and your sisters may come to the library and write your letters to Papa. How does that sound?"

Edith heaved a sigh and slid to the edge of the bed before getting up and making her way to the door. "Alright, Mama. I'll see you in a little while."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Cora flashed a teasing smile at her daughter.

Edith laughed and ran across the room, throwing her arms around her mother's waist. Cora's laughter echoed that of her daughter as she returned the embraced, leaning over to place a kiss to the top of Edith's head. "You'd best be going, love. The governess will send out a search party," Cora said as Edith pulled back from her.

"Yes, Mama. I'll see you in the library later." Edith turned and left the room. As soon as the door shut behind her, Cora's smile disappeared. Sighing to herself, she donned her dressing gown and made her way over to the bell chord. After ringing for her breakfast, she slid back under the covers to await her maid's arrival.

O'Brien arrived a short time later with her breakfast tray. It was as the lady's maid placed the tray across her lap that Cora noticed it-an envelope addressed to her in Robert's unmistakable handwriting. Her heart leapt in her chest as she snatched up the letter and letter opener. "When did this arrive, O'Brien?"

"Just before I brought up your tray, my lady," the maid said with a knowing smile. "Can I get you anything else?"

"No, that'll be all for the moment. Thank you, O'Brien."

Cora anxiously waited for the maid to leave the room before tearing into the letter. With shaking hands she removed the prized piece of paper from its confines and unfolded it, tears springing to her eyes as she read the greeting.

_My darling Cora,_

_ I hope that this letter finds you and our darling girls doing well. Thoughts of you fill my mind constantly. You cannot know what a comfort it is to know that I have such a beautiful family awaiting my arrival home, whenever that may be._

_ My beautiful wife, I lack the words to say how much I miss you. It is your face I see when I close my eyes at night; it is thoughts of coming home to you that keep me going in the heat of battle. You cannot know how proud I am of you, my darling. I reread your letters every chance that I have to do so, and it gives me great strength to know that you are being so strong in my absence. I could not be prouder or more grateful to call you my wife, nor more honored to be called your husband. You truly amaze me, my love._

_ I could fill volumes with my love for you but, unfortunately, I must draw this letter to a close. I love you so very much, my darling. I long for the day that I can once again hold you in my arms. Give the girls hugs and kisses from me and tell them that Papa loves them._

_ All My Love and Affection,_

_ Robert_

Tears coursed their way down Cora's cheeks as she reread the letter. As she did with every letter she received from Robert, she wanted to carve the words into her memory. They were all she had to hold onto until the day he would finally come home. Having finally read the letter three times over, she placed it back into its envelope and placed the envelope in the drawer of her bedside table for safe keeping. Finally turning her attention to her breakfast, the words of her husband's letter replayed themselves in her mind. _'It gives me great strength to know that you are being so strong in my absence.' Oh, my darling Robert,_ Cora thought to herself. _If you only knew the truth._

The girls came running into the library just after luncheon, eager to begin the task of writing their letters. Cora sat at Robert's desk, endeavoring to concentrate on writing her own letter. She turned to her girls with a smile. "Hello, my darlings. Are you ready to write your letters?"

"But, I've only just learned to write my name, Mama," Sybil said, a look of worry on her face. "How will I write a letter?"

"Well, maybe one of your sisters will help you," Cora offered, looking at her two older daughters with a meaningful look. Mary, taking note of this, rolled her eyes and sat down with an extra piece of paper. "Oh, alright. Come over here with me, Sybil. I'll help you."

"Thank you, dear, for being so helpful to your sister," Cora said with a slight shake of her head. Returning her attention to her own letter, she did her best to keep it light-hearted. She wanted Robert to know how much she missed him, but she didn't want to make him feel guilty for not being with her. She couldn't let him know she felt as if she were coming apart at the seams.

_My dearest Robert,_

_ I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to receive your letter this morning. I cherish every word from you, and hold them sacred in my heart._

_ Everything is much the same here at Downton. The girls are growing every day, and are turning into beautiful young ladies. They miss you so dreadfully, and ask on a daily basis when you are coming home. As much as they miss you, I miss you infinitely more, my darling. My heart aches with longing for you. You are constantly in my thoughts and in my dreams. I can't wait for the day when I will finally be able to feel your arms around me._

_ Valentine's Day is in a few days, but I find that I cannot celebrate it with my usual enthusiasm; not when my Valentine is thousands of miles away from me. I will, of course, do something special with Mary, Edith and Sybil as is part of our custom. I look very much forward, however, to our own private celebration whenever you are next at home, which I pray will be very soon indeed._

_ I love and miss you so much, my darling. Life is not the same without you. Please know that we are so proud of you, Robert, and are bearing up as best we can. All of our love and prayers go with you, my love._

_ Ever Yours,_

_ Cora_

Cora sealed the letter in an envelope and turned to where her girls sat still writing their letters. She stood and walked to sit beside them on the settee. Placing her arm around Mary, she asked, "How are your letters coming?"

"I'm almost finished with mine, Mama," Edith said.

"Look, Mama! Mary wrote the letter for me, but I signed my name all by myself!" The look on Sybil's face at this accomplishment brought tears of pride to Cora's eyes. She pulled her youngest into her lap, placing a kiss to her cheek. "That's wonderful, little one! Your handwriting is coming along very well, Sybil. Mary, what about you? Are you almost finished as well?"

"I would be if I hadn't had to write _two_ letters," Mary answered, dryly. Cora fought the urge to roll her eyes at her eldest daughter's querulousness. Mary was never one to take well to being 'inconvenienced'. Instead, she smiled warmly at her girls and said, "Well, as soon as the two of you are finished, we'll get these posted. The sooner we send them, the sooner he'll get them."

After the letters had been placed in the box in the hall to be posted, Cora and her daughters went upstairs to rest before the dressing gong would be sounded. As Sybil grasped her Mama's hand, she looked up at her in askance. "Mama, isn't Valentine's Day in a few days?"

"It is, love. Why do you ask?"

"Can we still have Valentine's Day if Papa isn't here?"

Cora's heart sank to the floor. She had been holding it together fairly well up until that point. She drew a deep breath in order to keep her emotions in check. "Of course we can. Your Papa would want us to. In fact, I thought we might do something special," Cora stated, an idea suddenly popping into her head. Maybe she could distract herself if they changed their tradition up a bit. "How would you girls like to have tea in Thirsk that afternoon? We can all be fitted for some new dresses while we're out to get us ready for spring. How does that sound?"

She watched as all three of her girls' eyes lit up at the prospect of taking tea in a tearoom. They didn't often eat out anywhere unless they were traveling. _Maybe this will help lift my spirits,_ she thought to herself. _I have to be strong for my girls. They can't see their Mama fall apart. Oh, Robert. Please come home soon._


End file.
